Monday, March 25, 2013

Milliners Invade Hollywood Is Back!

Our favorite classic stars in fashionable hats are back...Our beloved and brutally honest, Shirley Temple is also back as my co-host so brace yourselves.

Wendy Barrie looks quite mysterious here but fabulous. Shirley: "She's clearly hiding from Charles Laughton! He was a menace and he's been out for revenge ever since Henry VIII. The rumor is she told him to lay off of thirds at the Kraft service table during filming." 

Shirley, let's talk about this hat. It's quite cute. Shirley: "It's very Marjorie Main but it's hard to focus because I feel like I'm going to be punched by Ivan Shreve at any moment. This is clearly a set up on an adorable child with very high powered attorneys on retainer!"

Greta Garbo is making a statement here! Shirley: "A bellhop mugged a rich lady that clearly wore a size 0 dress! That's the statement. She should be in jail!"

Dorothy Lamour looks like she's having fun here. Shirley: "I can't prove it but I think she's making fun of Audrey here!"  Clutching my pearls!

What do you think of Marlene Dietrich's traveling clothes? Shirley: "She's one pair of slacks away from being Cary Grant's next wife!"

Paulette Goddard and high fashion are a match made in heaven. Shirley: " Fashion? Before the witness protection program she showed up with her face behind netting until Charlie Chaplin was sent off to Switzerland. Not effective, and damn Herbert Hoover, but at least she gave it a try!"   Harsh, Shirley! Go spank yourself.

Olivia de Havilland has left me speechless! Shirley: "Somewhere Joan Fontaine is giggling into her gin fizzy!" So am I! We need to move on from this and Olie's bad decision.

Loretta Young is just so beautiful! Shirley: "Yes, she was a saint who wore things like this when she wasn't in her nuns habit." You're baiting me now Shirley and I don't have the time or the need to spoil your view of Loretta. It's late and well, she was just like a nun but when you get time please Google Ms Young!

Lois Maxwell is here to give us some high fashion. Shirley: "I need to go back and watch a few of her films. For some reason I think she's hiding a cauliflower ear. Why else would any sane or working actress wear this?"

I'm all about beaded hats and Kay Johnson is rocking the latest in fashion here. Shirley: "Kay is teaching us a lesson here. When you have a square face, don't wear a square hat! And why would she volunteer to be photographed in that light with that mug? Somewhere Bela Lugosi is crying in fear!"  Have you not seen Theda Bara? 

Ida Lupino looks swell in her sombrero. Shirley: "So did Lupe Velez and we all know what happened to her!"

Joan Crawford had a birthday yesterday so be kind to her for once. Shirley: "I can't even mention the fact that her finger nails look like weapons?" Nope! 

I hope you enjoyed this look back at our glamorous stars and if you want to write to Shirley, please don't fill my email inbox with hate mail. Oh, and please leave a comment on these fabulous hats.

See ya soon!


  1. Oh, that Shirl!

    Anatole of Paris (see Danny Kaye song in "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty") has definitely been at work here.

    I'd love to think I could carry off that Wendy Barrie number.

  2. Shirley, why am I tempted to say.. "time to make the donuts" when I see you in your little straw hat?

    Dorothy Lamour's hat is my favorite...

    Olivia de Havilland's hat looks as if it were made by a creative spider..

    Kay Johnson needs a new make up artist...

    This is one of my favorite Joan Crawford pictures.. The color version of this picture, she looks stunning..

  3. Poor Olivia! Oh, Shirley's right, Joan's nails do look like weapons!

  4. Shirley had her comeback! And it's very good she was shown here with a strange hat: it's a vengeance!
    Olivia's and Pailette's hats are adorable, while Kay Johnson is definetely not in her best. And Joan's nails may be mortal, but are pretty modern, too.

    1. Page, as always, your millinery pictorials are a joy to behold! I especially enjoyed Marlene Dietrich being "one pair of slacks away from being Cary Grant's next wife"! Always happy to see Dorothy Lamour, the ever-fab Paulette Goddard, and another gal close to Team B's heart, Lois Maxwell in her pre-James Bond career!

  5. Oh dear. For a second, I thought Kay Johnson was William Bendix in drag.

  6. Page - This post should've been part of The Hollywood Revue's "Fashion in Film" blogathon!

  7. I think Shirley's right ... what's up with Lois Maxwell's ear? If she didn't have problems before wearing this hat, she probably did afterwards. Great post as always.