Thursday, December 6, 2012

Shirley's Back.... with Fabulous Hats!

I know you've all missed Shirley and her candid thoughts on old Hollywood hats so she's back! Let's get started before Ivan G. arrives with his petition to shut this blog down.

For the three of you who don't know who Shirley is, it's Shirley Temple, my co-host. She's not holding back either so if you're ready, so am I!

Wynne Gibson is divine in her beanie and jewels. Shirley: "She smokes so imagine this is Joan Crawford at 12. By 30 Wynne will regret this and she'll be at a pawn shop, hawking her jewels for food and Camels with her looks gone!"  Let's take it easy on the anti-smoking campaigns!

Vivien Leigh, always so sweet and innocent and put together! Shirley: "You obviously haven't read any of Olivier's sappy love letters. I bet her knees are quivering here!"  You're just awful, Shirley..I'm going to have a talk with your mother! 

Elsa Lanchester looks eloquent and so pretty. I'm a big fan. Aren't you, Shirley?  Shirley: "I think she's in mourning. It continued for at least 10 years." That's a third of her marriage to Laughton!  Shirley: "I know! I'm surprised it wasn't more too!"

Norma Talmadge, in a very good photo and a very cute hat. Shirley: "She should stick to profile shots like this. From straight on she could pass as Robert Mitchum's double and I think she borrowed that dress from the not famous sister!"  There's nothing wrong with her dress.  Shirley: "Not if you're a potato farmer."

Marion Davies is lovely in one of her 30s publicity portraits. Shirley: "Clearly, this was a couple of years after she was hunting down booze in San Simeon elevators like a truffle hound. She's bloated up like a deer on a salt lick bender!"  Thank goodness, Hearst is long gone, otherwise you would be ending up washed up on a beach in some shabby luggage. Shirley: "I'm being nice here. I didn't even mention her eyebrows!"

Toby Wing looks very pretty here. Shirley: "She's a round faced, Jean Harlow want to be but I do like her blouse and the fact that she didn't go over the top with red lipstick!"  Well, there is that!  

Hope Hampton has left me speechless so I'll leave it to you, Shirley. Shirley: "She's like a Mae West meets Joan Blondell hybrid here! Is this supposed to be a tribute to sailors or did the costume department throw everything white into the photo hoping she would be a good sport about it?" I'll never look at tassels in the same way! Shirley: "Same here! She's also ruined Veteran's Day, the color white, pleats and bamboo wallpaper for me!"  I'm just thankful you gave black turtlenecks a pass, Shirley!

Lana Turner looks great in black. Who doesn't like Lana? Shirley: "Another star in mourning but this time she's in mourning to stay out of prison!" I know who doesn't like Lana Turner....Bottom tier gangsters!"  We better move this along.

I love Betty Compson's hat. Shirley: "She's clearly snubbing Mary Pickford here. You can tell by the smirk on her face that she wants to rip some ringlets from their pasted on roots!" Well, we all love a good cat fight. Dig those two divas up!

If you want to dish on these hats please leave a comment and just know that I have no control over Shirley. Well, I do but what fun would it be to ban my imaginary co-host?

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16 comments:

  1. (*sigh*) Who will rid me of this meddlesome Shirley?

    You tell that nauseating little diabetes-causing moppet that when she starts dissing TDOY fave Toby Wing that it is on like Donkey Kong.

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    1. Shirley left! Something about rounding up Baby Fat Face and that little squirt in short pants, Mickey Rooney. They were heading over to your place to tear it down. (The good news. They're too short to do much damage!)
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  2. WTF is on Talmadge's hat? That's what Shirley should have asked.

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    1. Kim,
      You and Dawn noticed the same thing. I think it's there to distract from her tiny features. It's working since I looked right over it.
      Good to see you here for my Shirley post.
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  3. LOL.. Talmadge's hat is my favorite.. Even though, it looks like a bird flew into it..

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    1. Dawn,
      lol So true! You and Kim have an attention for detail and odd hat accessories. I think the dead bird has a string on it that the photographer pulled to make her look to the side. (Poor, Norma! She didn't have the cutest features.)

      Thanks for stopping by for my silliness and fab hats.
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  4. Love these hat critiques, especially the comment about Norma Talmadge. (It DOES look like a bird flew into it!)

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    1. SS,
      Poor Norma! lol I'm not sure any of these would translate well today although my favorite is Wynne's only because I love crushed velvet and jeweled hats.

      So glad you enjoyed the snark. We were a bit hard on the stars but it was all in good fun.
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  5. Shirley's back! Unlike a certain curmudgeon who has a bumper sticker on his car that says "I hate children," I love the Shirl! I have a yen to watch "The Little Colonel" and "The Little Rebel," 2 of my favorites. That being said, I think Shirley was right on the money about Marion Davies and Hope Hampton. Bad choices. For me, I think Toby Wing's veil makes her look like someone drew on her face with magic marker. And Betty Compson's hat! I know that was the style, but Lord that's huge!

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    1. Becks,
      Hope Hampton's hat and entire look is so bizarre. And as you pointed out with Toby. Certain people shouldn't wear the netted hats. She was beautiful but it makes her face look chubby and rounder.

      Ivan no like Shirley or Page when she brings up Shirley. lol
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  6. Guess who was a bad girl this year and will get coal or Christmas? Shirley Temple! :)
    Well, at least she liked Toby's blouse: so did I! And my favorite pictures are the ones with silent film stars. Imagine Natalie Talmadge, with the dress she lent to her sister, catching potatoes in the soil to cook for Buster Keaton...
    Kisses!

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    1. Le,
      Shirley really is a pest but she makes me happy. So glad you got a kick out of another hat post. Stay tuned for more. Hope you're doing well in gorgeous Brazil.
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  7. Love it. Nothing better than a little snark around the holidays. Hope you and Shirley have a wonderful holiday season.

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    1. Hi Kev!
      Shirley has issues, that's for sure. Me? Well, I have bigger issues considering I allow Shirley to rant and be a weird kid again. ha ha
      Good to see you here, Kevin.
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  8. Page, your pictorials with Shirley's snarky commentary never fail to crack me up! Poor Toby Wing's outfit looks like tire treads; did someone try to run her over? Where are Nick an Nora Charles when you need them? But I LOVED Elsa Lanchester's look - she was so young and adorable!

    All of us here at Team Bartilucci HQ hope you and yours have a truly Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year with plenty of joy and happiness; you deserve it!

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    1. Hi Dorian!
      You are so right about Toby's shirt. It does look like tire treads. ha ha
      Poor Shirley, she is rotten to the core when she gets around adult females.
      Wishing you and the Bartilucci family a wonderful Christmas and I'm sure we'll speak before then.
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