Guess who's back? It's Shirley. (Somewhere Ivan is crying into his fabulous shirt pocket.)
You just can't keep a feisty little terror down and believe it or not I've had commenter's tell me to bring Shirley back. I'll keep them anonymous though as not to garner hate mail.
Before we begin let me introduce you to my co-host, Shirley Temple. She's on another sugar high tonight though so be warned.
If you're ready, lets look at some fabulous hats and gorgeous stars.
Shirley, lets discuss Bette Davis and her adorable beanie. Shirley: "She's acting so stuck up here!" I don't know where you would get that. She's just posing. Shirley: "She's using her Bette Davis eyes which makes me crazy! It's stuck up of her and selfish." Right! That's so selfish. Let's just move on and count our blessings that you never gouged her gorgeous eyes out.
Here's Dolores Del Rio who's calmly sporting a classy hat. Shirley: "It reminds me of raw meat!" I think they're fake flowers. Shirley: "No! It's meat thrown onto a hat." Okkaayy. I see it now. Pork? Shirley: "Cow!" Has anyone ever told you that you might have issues with adult female stars?
Esther Williams is flawless in her wide brimmed hat. Shirley: "Just wait until she's done a few laps in the pool with it!" I don't think that's a swimming hat. Shirley: "Esther thinks she can swim in anything. Did you not see her showing off with that giant clam?"
Donna Reed is lovely in her pill box hat. Shirley: "It got it's name from Donna Reed and her 'pills'." Oh, that's not a very nice thing to say Shirley. Donna Reed was a very straight laced and sweet star. Shirley: "Exactly! Nobody is THAT nice without help." Let's reel it in! The Donna Reed fan club is bigger than the Illuminati. Shirley: "That's why everyone thinks she's so sweet. She has a lot of protection." I've got hives!
Oh, Elizabeth Taylor looks wonderful as always. Shirley: " She does look very pretty. What husband was she on here?" That doesn't matter really. She was beautiful regardless of who she was married to. Shirley: "Let's call John Warner up and ask him about that." You're so rude, Shirley and bitter? Did you want the role in National Velvet or something? Shirley: "I was too old then." Oh, right. You were 14. For some reason I still see you as a baby. Shirley: "Funny! I still see you as someone who needs a fake kid to give you incentive to post!"
What do you think of Gene Tierney? Shirley: "She is trying to smile here but you can tell she's angry because they made her up like Bo Peep... I think the studio was paying her back for not showing up for Laura!" Uhmmm, she wasn't really in Laura due to the script. Shirley: "That's her excuse for not being professional enough to show up for her scenes." Yes! Let's start a rumor that Gene Tierney couldn't be bothered to show up on set so Otto Preminger made her a ghost. Shirley: "That's what happened!" I suggest you stop reading Motion Picture magazines from the 1940s. You've been brain washed.
Jennifer Jones was such a beauty wasn't she? Shirley: "She was! And she had a lot of nerve to go out and smile after appearing in "The Wild Heart." Good one, Shirley!
I'm a bit speechless here on Joan Blondell. Shirley: "I'm not!..The fur collar is pretty but then someone tried to choke her with beaded netting and those power curls!" Well, you are the expert on 'power curls'! It looks like the tree bark is in a power struggle with the fur here. Poor Joan!
More fur and netting for Judy Garland. Shirley: "Don't believe this look! She's trying to show she's a grown up. but she looks like a kid singing about trolley's clanging while wearing her mommies fur and gloves." "I bet Vincente Minnelli had this photo framed on his bedside table though!" I refuse to let my mind go there.
Maria Montez shows off some 1940s fashion. Shirley: "She should stick to leather dresses. If Adrian were still around he would slap that doily right off of her head!" Maybe she can use it later during high tea. Everything is salvageable.
Maureen O'Hara looks very proper here as usual. Shirley: "She's nursing a hangover but all of her ice melted!" Oh! Did they have waterproof mascara in the 40s? Shirley: "I don't know about that but I know they had lots of vodka and flasks that those grown up ladies hid in their clutches. My mom calls it Courage Juice."
This is an unusual hat that Queenie Smith is sporting. Shirley: "She just landed off of the Santa Maria and she wants her ration of corn pones!" That hat deserves at least a turkey leg.
Rita Hayworth can pull off any look! Shirley: "You must be afraid of Kevin Dearny!.. She's confused again. You don't mix plaid with fringe regardless of Orson Welles scaring everyone into being nice to you no matter how you look." The butterfly pin was probably Orson's idea to distract us from the hat!
Well, I think that's enough hats and snark for one day.
Thanks for stopping by!
Page
